Pregnancy underwear scares me. And this isn't some random thought that floats around in my head. I haven't finally flipped off the deep end. That thought flashes like a warning sign across my brain, because I know soon, I'll need to be fitting my extra large ass into a pair of them. I am pregnant again.
Let's get real here. It looks like I'm funneling Pabst's at an alarming rate. Past pregnancies, I've had a clear baby bump. Now, I just have a gut.
My goal for the future is to patent a maternity underwear that isn't big enough to live in, but does have a waistband large enough to make a WWE wrestler's belt look small.
By God, those f'ers won't roll down, will they?
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