Today would have been my oldest son Keanes 9th birthday, seems almost impossible to beleive that its been 9 years since he was born. Such a miracle to experience his short lived life, I can hardly believe I can now live day to day with out falling into pieces like I did for the first few years. Don't get me wrong, there are still moments of everyday that I think of him, and days where it just hits me hard that he is not here with me.... I can truly say that with time God has helped me learn to live with the constant grief I feel, living without my first born son here on earth.
November 9th, 2002 my first born son Keane Michael was born into this world at 19 1/2 weeks gestation, to small for this world to live here (to read the whole story about his life see my blog post from last year http://myboysmygreatestgiftsinlife.blogspot.com/2009/11/he-would-have-been-7-today.html). His short lived life has changed my life dramatically, and I have learned the lesson of what is important in this world. He was born at 6:12 in the evening weighing 8oz and very much alive :) ! They had told me over and over again for three days ( I went into the ER on November 6th) that he would not be born alive, that the meds they gave me were potent and that he could not survive it...But he did :) The Lord blessed us with the 6 hours he was here on earth.
Today, is a bitter sweet day for me, I'm grateful for the hours I had with my son, but sad that he was taken from us so quickly. I still long to know what his voice sounds like, I still wonder if he still would look exactly like his older brother, I still wonder what his favorite character would have been, would have been been a Thomas crazy boy like Gabriel? Or would he have loved dinasours like Matthias? Would he have been a great singer/sports player?
So many unanswered questions when you have to bury your child after birth. Even as I type this it still makes no sense to me as to why my son was taken to heaven so early. But the only hope I have is knowing that one day I will see him again, and all those questions will be answered for me.
I miss you terribly Keane Michael, you are loved and missed everyday by your family. Your short life has touched so many, and I will forever be grateful for the gift that the Lord gave me with you!
We miss you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH THE ANGELS MY LOVE!
LOVE MOMMY
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